Rap on the knuckles for Derby County

"I must be mad," said the bloke queuing behind me queuing for autographs at Pride Park, the home of Derby County.
Rams boss Paul Jewell and players Robbie Savage and Tito Villa had very kindly put an hour aside to meet the fans at the club shop.
Trouble was, an hour was not enough. Not in a million years.
But I waited, and I waited. An hour went by. It was sub-zero. My feet and hands were frost-bitten and, I reckon, close to dropping off.
After an hour, a bit like queuing for Wembley tickets, you think you might as well stick it out. Plus, if I failed to go home without the autographs from my Rams-mad sons I would be lambested beyond belief.
So I waited. Like a loonie. The queue snaked round the side of the ground and there was about 30 people behind me. The queue had an end.
We edged forward, painfully slowly. At last I could see the club shop door, but there must have been at least 100 people patiently waiting their turn before me.
That's when the woman with a helpless smile said: "Sorry ladies and gents, but they are all leaving in five minutes so it's unlikely you'll get an autograph."
Unlikely! I had more chance of conquering the North Pole. Though the lack of sensation in my frozen feet made me feel as if I had.
I was beaten. Frozen and miserable, I scurried back to my car. An hour wasted. I felt even more sorry for the children who, with patient mums and dads, had braved the icy weather just for one of Sav's smiles. So much for a half term treat.
Surely one of the players could have stayed behind? Just for a bit.
I'll never know for sure what happened of course. I had to leave. Defeated. My late lunch hour autograph plan had failed dismally. And, I felt, DCFC, had failed me, a season ticket holder, and rather a lot of other diehard fans too.
I'm told that these autograph sessions are hugely popular so why not organise them better? Have four players working in half-hour shifts (but only tell us fans we have an hour to get those signatures), then no-one will go home disappointed.
I'd made a lovely collage of Sav, Tito and Jewell for them to sign for my lads. Hope you don't mind gents, but I forged your names! Providing they don't read this, they'll never know!!